The AI craze is hitting the NFL. Here's how all 32 coaches (might) use the technology.
On Wednesday, the NFL announced a generative AI partnership with Microsoft.
It will apparently allow NFL coaches access to a Microsoft Copilot feature on their in-game tablets that will "help" them with all kinds of situations and problems every Sunday. As the Los Angeles Rams' Sean McVay professed, "it's going to be a big deal." You know, like the dot-com bubble, Facebook's "pivot to video," Skype, cryptocurrency, and non-fungible tokens before it. You better believe the future is here, dearest readers. Either thoughtlessly and shamelessly buy into it with all of your public credibility, goodwill, and financial resources, or get left behind.
Your choice!
This perplexing agreement (why does the NFL, of all companies anywhere, need to be involved in AI?) announced just over two weeks before the start of the 2025 regular season got us thinking. How would all 32 coaches try to use the Copilot feature? What kinds of questions and queries would they feed into a (glorified dopamine) machine? How would they enhance their coaching performance with a machine that may or may not be simply telling them what they want to hear?
Below you will find our best theories and best guesses at the totally serious problems each active NFL head coach would try to get to the bottom of, whether they're related to a game or not.
Note: These are jokes, JOKES, not real suggestions.
Jonathan Gannon (Arizona Cardinals): What does an NFL coach do?
Raheem Morris (Atlanta Falcons): Should I draft Kyle Pitts in fantasy?
Sean McDermott (Buffalo Bills): Inspirational speeches not involving terrorist cells
John Harbaugh (Baltimore Ravens): How much leeway with "zero tolerance" policy?
Dave Canales (Carolina Panthers): History of short NFL QBs
Ben Johnson (Chicago Bears): What to do in Chicago in January?
Zac Taylor (Cincinnati Bengals): Mike Brown is jerk, so why Zac Taylor hate?
Kevin Stefanski (Cleveland Browns): Is my boss trying to get me to quit?
Brian Schottenheimer (Dallas Cowboys): Are you going to take my job?
Sean Payton (Denver Broncos): Can 7-foot NBA centers also play QB?
Dan Campbell (Detroit Lions): What's a field goal?
Matt LaFleur (Green Bay Packers): What does "guaranteed" money mean for NFL QB?
DeMeco Ryans (Houston Texans): Average Texas high school football attendance compared to Texans
Shane Steichen (Indianapolis Colts): How to get old job back after quitting?
Liam Coen (Jacksonville Jaguars): Do Jaguars actually play in Duval?
Andy Reid (Kansas City Chiefs): Success rate with football player actors
Pete Carroll (Las Vegas Raiders): How many microplastics in Cobb salads?
Jim Harbaugh (Los Angeles Chargers): Raw milk superpowers???
Sean McVay (Los Angeles Rams): Why don't you try asking me a question?
Mike McDaniel (Miami Dolphins): Quirky, aloof jokes to go viral
Kevin O'Connell (Minnesota Vikings): Bud Grant friendly ghost??
Mike Vrabel (New England Patriots): *Smashed his tablet to pieces before Copilot could load*
Kellen Moore (New Orleans Saints): Quarterback broken, what do I do now?
Brian Daboll (New York Giants): BRIAN DABOLL
Aaron Glenn (New York Jets): Can you run QB Draw every play?
Nick Sirianni (Philadelphia Eagles): [Expletive] the Cowboys
Mike Tomlin (Pittsburgh Steelers): Relaxation techniques after talking to middle-aged manchild
Kyle Shanahan (San Francisco 49ers): Lee Harvey Oswald living relatives?
Mike Macdonald (Seattle Seahawks): Why does it say "did you mean Mike McDaniel?" every time I search name?
Todd Bowles (Tampa Bay Buccaneers): IMDB for CSI Mark Harmon
Brian Callahan (Tennessee Titans): Broadway happy hour on Sunday night?
Dan Quinn (Washington Commanders): Keyboard cat real? How to meet
This article originally appeared on For The Win: NFL AI partnership: How all 32 coaches would (totally seriously) use AI tech
Category: Football
