Ethan Utley walked into the locker room last month and several emotions hit him all at once. The Tennessee Football freshman defensive lineman saw the No. 17 jersey hanging in his locker. The pride, weight and purpose draped his shoulders like the jersey staring back at him. “I couldn’t stop smiling,” Utley said, “because we […]
Ethan Utley walked into the locker room last month and several emotions hit him all at once. The Tennessee Football freshman defensive lineman saw the No. 17 jersey hanging in his locker. The pride, weight and purpose draped his shoulders like the jersey staring back at him.
“I couldn’t stop smiling,” Utley said, “because we had been joking back during my official visit when we were bowling. I said if I beat you can I get my number? And he said if I lose too bad I may not give it to you.
“He had hinted I was going to eventually earn my way to get it. But when I saw it, I was like this is crazy just being able to wear this number across my chest, with my name on the back, and honor my brother in that way is a dream come true.”
Utley’s older brother EJ was murdered in early February 2021 on his front porch. The two were nearly inseparable from a young age and the news rocked Ethan.
“Me and my brother were only 14 months apart,” Utley said, “So if you asked the wrong person, they may tell you that we were twins. We were really close. And having the brother figure, up until the age of 13, until he was gone, but still be able to follow in the same footsteps of the dream we both dreamed about, it fires me up.
“Come game time there is no doubt in my mind I’m going to go get it.”
Each day, Utley comes to work. He does it with a smile across his face. His outlook after suffering such heartbreak is nothing short of amazing. He’s a beacon of light, not only on the field but off of it as well, for his mom TracyWalls, who played basketball at Georgia. That’s why he was quick to text her when he found out he was going to get to honor EJ.
“She knew before I did so she was trying to hold her water,” Utley said with that same smile. “But when I first sent her a picture because I had worn the jersey in the bowl game because you can pick whatever number when you aren’t playing.
“When I saw it in that orange jersey it became official. And she was more excited than I was really.”
And that moment with her son will stick with her forever.
“It actually was breathtaking,” Walls said. “It was such a testimony to God’s faithfulness to our family, our commitment to seeing the greatness in the world, seeing the goodness in people and seeing an opportunity to continue to live on through the tragedy that we experienced. It just pulled my heart strings.
“I immediately started crying. I was just overjoyed with everything that Coach Heupel had said to us during the interview process, he has met it 120%. And everything that Coach Garner has said or done has had such integrity and such an anchor for our experience coming over to the University of Tennessee. Just great great people.”
It was also a special moment for Josh Heupel. These little nuances as a coach resonate with players and their families and the importance of this honor isn’t lost on him.
“Going through the recruiting process,” Heupel said, “and getting a chance to understand some of the things that they went through as a family and what that meant to Ethan to be able to represent, something that we made Ethan earn at the same time, I just knew it meant a lot to the family and something that’s way different than just putting a number on your body.
“It’s something that carries a lot of meaning every time that he gets a chance to put that on and a reminder of who’s watching him and why he’s doing what he’s doing.”
The first time that Utley wore his brother’s old number was last season, due to a mandatory number change because he was playing some offense.
“I wore 17 for the first time against Lipscomb Academy my senior year in week five,” Utley said. “We did it so I’d have an eligible number for me to play tight end. For me it was special because it was the number (EJ) wore in his one year that he was able to play high school football.
“I always wanted to wear it eventually. Being able to come here and earn my number 17 and be able to wear that for me and my family is something I hold close dear to my heart.”
There was always healthy competition in their house. They competed in sports, Legos and even cooking recipes. Walls recalled a time that seems so long ago in certain ways. She even used to dress them alike, which is why people thought they were twins growing up.
Being able to be around the program and be present thanks to Heupel and his openness for families has been a God send.
“I live through those moments right now with such grace and such petition to again God’s faithfulness in that he’s not here with us physically,” Walls said, “but he’ll still be with us spiritually forever. And I really will enjoy and embrace every moment this entire season watching Ethan all year play with that No. 17 to see how he has honored his brother and kept his name in the forefront of everything that we have experienced since we’ve lost him four years ago just really again speaks to Ethan this character.
“It speaks to Ethan’s unwavering faithfulness in Christ who you know is the head of our house. It speaks to my ability to have air to breath because Ethan has been like my hero during this time because every time I’m at my lowest moments I was able to go and watch Ethan practice every day so that’s been remarkable to have the parents come to practice and watch Ethan live his dreams.”
And during those quiet moments, it’s Ethan who makes sure to pull from EJ’s personality that keeps him still very present for mom.
“We send each other funny memes and stuff to cheer each other up and keep going and that’s the way EJ would’ve wanted it,” Walls said. “EJ was the life of the party. He was the fun kid and so he wouldn’t want us sad. That’s what we have to remind each other to go get it.
“Ethan reminds me every day when I’m really sad to fight back mom that’s all that’s our household name to fight back and face it because you know that’s how EJ would’ve wanted it that’s how you know life happens and you just gotta keep moving and so that’s where we’ve been since we’ve been over here and I wouldn’t change it for anything our experience over here.
On Wednesday, Utley came through Tennessee’s Anderson Training Center pushing an injured Daevin Hobbs to class. They both were laughing and joking as they exited past the General Neyland statue. It’s a different set of brothers that make her so proud.
“His brotherhood on the team, those guys on the team help him get through all of the adversity and the challenges that he may experience,” Walls said. “He says mommy, I got a new team of brothers. He and Mariyon Dye so close and (Daevin) Hobbs is his big brother on the team. Coach Garner has got a great G unit as I call them. These brothers look out for each other they carry one another and they hold each other up.
“As a mother, that’s all I would ask is that he has such a community of like-minded individuals who are gonna help push him to greatness and not let him feel sad, feel down. They always keep them up and then that’s what I desire as a parent. Coach Garner has set the standard of excellence for his players, and they have set the standards for holding one another accountable in their G-unit and I love it.”
The Vols will run onto the field next Saturday against Syracuse and EJ will be right there with him. And while that moment will be incredible, it’s the run one week later that has Utley the most excited.
“Definitely will be thinking about him,” Utley said, looking ahead to his first run through the ‘T’ against ETSU in Tennessee’s home opener on September 6. “He would probably have ruined my recruitment because I’d have probably followed him and we would have teamed up. So now, he is a Vol with me.”
Category: General Sports
