WWE SmackDown results, highlights (Sept. 26): Tiffany Stratton retains title in disastrous main event

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WWE has started its ESPN era on the wrong foot. "SmackDown" stopped through Orlando, Florida this week to further set the stage for what looks like a highly questionable Crown Jewel PLE in Perth.

Not so pretty

Listen, I'm a Tiffany Stratton guy, and I don't believe she's received a fair shake for essentially all of her run as WWE Women's Champion. The company has absolutely failed her with recycled booking, and her latest defense in a triple-threat match against Jade Cargill and Nia Jax couldn't have ended any worse, despite the trio's strong early efforts.

Jax has almost become too much of a troll character that it has seeped into her in-ring work and devalued matches. Overall, they tried to go fast, but the moves felt slow, and at the end of the match, Cargill botched a toss into the steel steps that resulted in a fight-like gash over her eyebrow.

It was so gnarly that it seemingly led to a late audible, as the camera panned away to get Cargill help. Then Jax and the referee missed a kickout — off a drop kick from Stratton. The confusion from everyone involved was so blatantly on display that it couldn't have been salvaged. Prettiest Moonsault Ever, and the win for Stratton. 

Pain.

To make every bit of this title reign and main event match even worse, Stratton will now go against the new Women's World Champion Stephanie Vaquer at Crown Jewel, where she has less than a snowball's chance in hell to win. Luckily for her, they should put on a great match regardless, but she's been booked into dreadful territories. 

The men's and women's Crown Jewel championships don't even matter in the grand scheme, making all this more pointless due to promotional tactics that receive priority over good storytelling.

🥴 Memory Wipe of the Night

WWE wants its viewers to completely forget the Cody Rhodes vs. Brock Lesnar feud from 2023. You know, the one where Rhodes beat Lesnar twice in their three matches. At least that's how it seemed in Rhodes' segment with Paul Heyman, because the Universal WWE Champion should have no reason to be as afraid of Lesnar as Heyman and WWE want the world to be.

It was a good story beat for Rhodes to question Heyman's current connection with Lesnar, considering Heyman's mention of him, despite the ongoing Vision affiliation. Ultimately, this can't help but make me feel that we'll get another Rhodes vs. Lesnar match before the year is over, and likely a completely illogical interference to help Seth Rollins win at Crown Jewel.

The "SmackDown" intro ended with the Brons sneaking up on Rhodes before the champion told them Heyman isn't loyal to them. In full babyface champ fashion, Rhodes took on both at one time before he was overwhelmed, and Randy Orton made the save.

Rhodes' interaction with The Vision was a nice touch, as the faction felt like it had completely dissolved after the on-screen Becky Lynch alliance with Rollins. There's no reason for the Brons not to go for tag team titles, so what's the point of them now that Rollins is champion? This should dissolve soon, and end with a Breakker super push to world champion status.

Additionally, Heyman's reference to "WWE Unreal" and the Gorilla position felt very awkward to script into TV.

💔 Breakup of the Night

First of all, I have to say I don't know why all these circles are being run around regarding the Street Profits and The Wyatt Sicks, but the former champions have another title shot. To earn it, they defeated Melo Don't Miz, thanks to a mid-match breakup.

When Carmello Hayes had the Profits where he wanted them, Miz once again looked to steal the tag, but this time was stopped. Therefore, giving the Profits the win by double-teaming Miz, as Hayes watched and chose not to break up the pin.

Ideally, this can lead to that long-awaited Hayes push, but honestly, seeing him join the Profits would be pretty cool. They mesh together fantastically as opponents, but seeing the three together would freshen things up further in the tag division.

😮 Return of the Night

WWE's self-awareness is always strange to see in real time, but it highlighted something I recall preaching a while back.

When Drew McIntyre hobbled his way to the ring in a walking boot, he mentioned how environmental attacks have never resulted in DQs. So why did the referee halt him in his Rhodes match from doing the Claymore Kick into the announce table? There really was no good reason.

This ultimately led McIntyre down a conspiracy theorist-esque path, complaining and making so many excuses that "SmackDown" general manager Nick Aldis interrupted just to call him out. For a second, it felt like maybe, just maybe, we were headed towards that much-desired Aldis in-ring WWE debut. Instead, a returning Jacob Fatu walked out to have a mic steal-off with McIntyre before he stood tall in their brief exchange.

I'm still not sure how I feel about face Fatu, but it's nice to see him back.

👍 FRIDAY NIGHT FIRE 👍

Zaria and Sol Ruca confronted Alexa Bliss and Charlotte Flair backstage. It was pretty random, but I'm here for more matches between any of those four.

👎 DOWN & OUT 👎

1. Booker T was on main roster commentary again, which is always going to earn a downvote.

2. Giulia and Kiana James (rightfully) defeated Michin and B-Fab after Giulia landed a Northern Lights Bomb on Michin. I was worried James would eat the pin here and keep this "feud" alive. While I'm glad James didn't look like a complete clown in this match, like in her previous, this was all around bad. The weight of Giulia's fellow wrestlers was too much to carry, and it only highlighted how she was leagues above them, deserving significantly better.

At one point, Michin did nearly break herself in half, though.

3. CM Punk and AJ Lee are nowhere to be seen, or even discussed, after their win over Rollins and Lynch at Wrestlepalooza. Make it make sense.

👑 Uncrowned Gem of the Night 👑

On Friday, this award is just going to have to be renamed the "U.S. Title Match of the Night," or something along those lines, because Sami Zayn's U.S. title open challenge keeps delivering bangers. This week, NXT's Je'Von Evans made a surprise appearance, and while he had a zero percent chance of winning, the match was fun as hell.

The literal heights that Evans can reach are simply insane. I've never seen anyone fly the way that he can in a wrestling ring. It almost doesn't make sense. Ultimately, he fell short after some incredible maneuvers, when Zayn once again hit the Helluva Kick into a Blue Thunder Bomb. Despite an occasional misstep, this was exceptional, and Evans needs to be on the main roster as soon as possible.

👑 The Zayn match was essentially the only portion of this "SmackDown" worth watching. I give this show a Crown score of: 2/10. 👑