Clarke Carlisle has opened up about his battles with alcoholism and depression during his football career
Former Premier League footballer Clarke Carlisle has candidly revealed his harrowing struggle with alcoholism and suicidal ideation, detailing how his identity became inextricably linked to his career on the pitch.
The 46-year-old, who played for clubs including Queens Park Rangers, Leeds United, and Burnley during a 17-year professional career, shared his deeply personal journey on the Abbeycare podcast, Listen Up.
Carlisle, who also chaired the Professional Footballers’ Association and earned three caps for the England under-21 national team, explained that his self-worth was "anchored in external validation" from childhood, later transferring to approval from managers and fans. He admitted that alcohol became his primary release.
"Everything was tied into football," he recalled, with his sense of self-worth entirely dependent on his performance.
"If I played well then I was a good human and I was allowed to smile, and I could go home and be nice to my family," the Preston-born defender stated.
"If I played poorly, I was a bad human."
This fragile self-perception led to a severe crisis in 2001 following a knee injury.
For over a month, Carlisle described having only one sober day per week, consuming a crate of beer and two bottles of wine daily, alongside chain-smoking.
"I sat on a futon and drank myself into oblivion. I placed that order probably six days a week for a five-week period," he confessed, revealing he attempted to take his own life during this period.
Despite this, he recovered and continued playing for another 12 years. However, retirement in 2013 plunged him into "the longest and deepest depressive episode of my life."
A year later, in 2014, he made a second suicide attempt, resulting in him being hit by a lorry and spending six weeks in hospital with a shattered knee and internal bleeding.
Carlisle grappled with the notion that "without football I was no-one," feeling like "an abject failure without football."
This was compounded by a stranger asking, "Didn’t you used to be Clarke Carlisle?" After a stay at Blackburn Psychiatric Hospital, he was introduced to cognitive analytic therapy, a turning point that helped him regain control.
Now married with three children from previous relationships, Carlisle urges others facing mental health challenges to seek professional help.
"There are literally thousands of people who are qualified and trained to be invested in your wellness," he advised.
"What they are going to do is hear you, and guide you on the pathway to your potential solution. Go there first."
He has recently taken on a new role as business development executive at Betknowmore, a charity dedicated to supporting gambling addicts.
Eddie Clarke, outreach manager at Abbeycare and host of the podcast, commended Carlisle's bravery in sharing his story.
"Clarke’s story shows the devastating impact that unaddressed addiction issues can have, even on those who are outwardly successful and widely admired," Mr Clarke said.
"As he said himself during our interview, he is extremely lucky to be alive to tell people about his experiences, and we are very grateful that he has."
Mr Clarke added that Carlisle’s willingness to share "deeply personal moments will help others struggling to understand that they are not alone, and that recovery is possible."
He stressed the importance of honest conversations about addiction, "given the level of harm that addiction is causing across the UK."
If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email [email protected], or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you
Category: General Sports
