Jerry Jones doesn't know finger from thumb, should probably retire

The Dallas Cowboys are run by a man who does not know his middle finger from his thumb. This is not speculation. This comes from the source himself.

We've officially reached the point of Jerry Jones' career where he can create a reasonable excuse for flipping off New York Jets fans during a Week 5 win by suggesting he doesn't quite remember which fingers are which. This is a function of decades of familiarity with Jones, a man of frequent antagonization toward friends, enemies and unconcerned bystanders alike.

It all began Sunday, when Jones was caught on camera giving a brief middle finger to fans at MetLife Stadium after a fourth quarter touchdown pushed Dallas' lead to 37-14. Knowing an NFL fine was forthcoming, Jones took to his weekly radio appearance on local 105.3 KRLD to go on the defensive.

“That was unfortunate,” said Jones. “There wasn’t any antagonistic issue or anything like that. I just put up the wrong show of my hand. And I’m not kidding you. If you want to call it accidental, you can call it accidental.

"But the intention was thumbs-up. And basically pointing at our fans because everybody was jumping up and down and excited.”

On one hand, this seems like a lazy, transparent excuse for a decision Jones knew was stupid in the moment. On the other... it feels possible! Jones' decision making has been undeniably shaky in recent years. It's entirely possible that, in moments of heated negotiation, Jones attempted to flip off a lowball offer and instead accidentally approved it. Is that really more farfetched than dealing a fourth round draft pick for Jonathan Mingo or letting Micah Parsons become a Green Bay Packer?

Either way, it's concerning. The Cowboys are run by a man who may not understand the difference between his fingers. If not, they're run by a man whose mental capacity is diminished to the point where he thinks "yep, it's believable that I briefly lost control of my motor functions but should still be trusted to make key decisions for an NFL franchise." Maybe the strategy there is to play dumb and get the upper hand in potential negotiations with free agents or trade partners but... we've seen how those negotiations play out! It's clear other general managers and agents already believe they're dealing with a man unsure of how fingers work.

So, yes. Jerry Jones' thumbs-up excuse is probably a lie in order to save some cash -- one that resulted in a quarter-million dollar fine anyway. But the fact he'd try it merely points to a larger problem. Iit's pointing with a middle finger, but it's totally supposed to be a thumb, you guys.

This article originally appeared on For The Win: Jerry Jones doesn't know finger from thumb, should probably retire