Mailbag: Why Conor McGregor's UFC anti-doping suspension manages to be both dumb and hilarious

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What are we supposed to make of Conor McGregor’s retroactive 18-month UFC suspension? How seriously should we take post-fight excuses from either of the two principals in UFC 320's main event? Plus, what does the ideal UFC White House card look like?

All that and more in this week’s mailbag. To ask a question of your own, hit up @benfowlkesmma.

@logsupacoowacky: Is McGregor being suspended until March 2026 a contender for the biggest non-news to get significant coverage in MMA? Even by McGregor standards?

One thing I like about this particular Conor McGregor story is that it exists at the delightful intersection of stupid and funny.

You’re telling me that the guy who jumped out of the drug-testing pool after a serious injury, packed on a bunch of muscle while making comments that strongly suggested he was on something stronger than creatine gummies, has now run afoul of the UFC’s anti-doping program? And the way he did it was not by failing a drug test, but simply by no-showing the sample collection process? Hilariously dumb. Five stars.

Here’s what I don’t understand about this whole thing, though. According to the statement put out by the UFC, McGregor missed three tests in June and September of 2024. The first was right around the time he was pulling out of that fight with Michael Chandler. The next two were on consecutive days three months later.

All of this happened a little over one year ago. So why did it take so long to announce a reduced, retroactive suspension? A whereabouts failure is supposed to be one of the more automatic situations. It’s not like we need to test the B sample and litigate questions of contaminated protein powder. He was supposed to be available for testing and he wasn’t — three separate times — so why let an entire year go by before even mentioning it?

What makes it even weirder is that, by the time the UFC did get around to announcing a suspension, it’s been conveniently reduced so that it ends well before the UFC White House event that McGregor says he wants to fight at. In other words, the suspension meant absolutely nothing. It encompasses a period of time when he didn’t want to fight anyway, and it’s been shortened so it won’t interfere with the event he actually does want to fight at. The public didn’t even learn about it until it was close to its end.

The whole thing is one giant LOL. Though, on the plus side, it is the rare McGregor news story that doesn’t even him doing something bad to other humans, so maybe we should be grateful for this bit of harmless stupidity.

@Missing_Link88: Usually the "I was sick and injured" last fight excuse does not go well for the loser in a rematch, but Chama prevailed. Are we forced to believe excuses more often now with this precedent?

The problem with accepting every fighter’s post-loss excuse is that almost all of them have one. Just look at Magomed Ankalaev. He got beat by Alex Pereira in the rematch and in no time at all his manager was out there saying he was hurt and shouldn’t have even fought. So then what? Pereira didn’t really lose the first one, since he had an excuse. But Ankalaev didn’t really lose the second one, since he also had an excuse.

Excuses serve a vital psychological role in this sport. When you go out there and lose a cage fight, you have to tell yourself something. And that something can’t just be that the other person is better than you. Not when the whole thing this sport is built on is everyone trying to be number one. That’s why almost every fighter has an excuse. Some are true masters in the art of the excuse. Others settle for “he was the better man … tonight.” But rarely will you ever hear a fighter tell you he had everything going for him and still got knocked out.

@GabeDert: My White House card

Main card

Poatan and jones

Aspinall and Francis

McGregor and topuria?

Rousey and Carano

Sandhagen and O’Malley ?

Anyone else?

I see what you’re thinking, Gabe, and I get it. It does verge into pure fantasy with the addition of Francis Ngannou (even if the UFC could re-sign him, you think Dana White wants to put an immigrant from an African nation on Donald Trump’s happy-birthday-to-me event) and Ronda Rousey vs. Gina Carano (neither of them is an MMA fighter and both are better off staying that way).

Also? Ilia Topuria would wreck this version of McGregor and it would be the easiest fight he’s had since middle school.

As for Pereira vs. Jon Jones, the only way that makes sense is if Jones cuts back down to light heavyweight to fight for Pereira’s title, which I’m not sure he’s willing to do. It would be silly to have Pereira go up to heavyweight and fight anyone but the reigning UFC heavyweight champ. Plus, I think Jones just takes him down and elbows him in guard until Pereira loses consciousness or gives up a submission. So you’d have destroyed the 205-pound champ in a non-title fight, and most likely Jones would just moped back into retirement after. That’s assuming he makes it to the fight at all, which the UFC doesn’t seem entirely willing to bet on.

@EyeofMihawk: This year has been a big year for combat gentlemen of a certain age bucking the trends. Volk, Crawford, Usyk, and now Pereira. Three of them are named some variant of Alex, but beyond that is there a common thread there?

They’re all extraordinary talents. That’s the common thread. All four of them are or have been at one time the very best in the world — by a lot. It shouldn’t surprise us that four guys who were already better than everyone else at one time in their careers could also age better than everyone else.

@ZeroAcidCool: Has anyone ever heard from Joe Silva since his retirement? His thoughts on the way its changed since he left

There’s one thing I admire about Joe Silva. For years he said that, if/when he got that big payday, he’d stay home in Virginia and read his books and never be heard from in the halls of MMA again. I’ve heard many people say such things over the years. Then they get their money and find a reason to stick around for a little more, and then a little more after that.

Silva is the only person I’ve ever known who did exactly what he said he would. He cashed out and then stayed gone. You could certainly argue that his legacy is not an entirely positive one. He did a lot to help establish a system that kept fighters hungry while the owners feasted. He was not exactly beloved by fighters or their managers, and he knew that. Part of his gift was that he did not mind.

I remember once suggesting to Joe that he write a book about his time as UFC matchmaker. After all, he has time now. He rejected that idea because, as he explained, he didn’t trust his own (or anyone else’s) perception of objective reality enough to set something down in print and say “this is the absolute truth about the way it was.” In actuality, I think maybe he just didn’t want to relive it all through the process of writing it. I think he was that glad to be done with this world.

@_TheDumpReport_: Do you have any idea why Don Frye (and perhaps others) are so down on Mark Kerr?

I don’t, and I was disappointed to see Don Frye’s remarks. They seemed ... ungenerous. To say the least.

Maybe it’s just sour grapes. Maybe he looks at Mark Kerr’s career and thinks, why should he get a movie about him? Why not hire Tom Selleck and make a movie about me? Which, hey, I’d probably watch a Don Frye biopic. I’m not sure how many others would, though. And after some of the reports about the poor box office performance for “The Smashing Machine” so far, we might have seen the last MMA movie for a little while.

@xwiresoft: In keeping with Helwani bringing back MMA Beat, what are some steps that young journalists interested in combat sports could follow to keep integrity alive in the space?

Don’t pander. Don’t cozy up to any specific promoter thinking that will be the ticket. It never is. Not for very long. The UFC has tried to lure in so many different journalists and entire media outlets by offering the safe, warm spot under the dragon’s wing. It’s a mirage. The dragon will get bored of it and eat you eventually. Always.