FC Bayern needs to rally the troops.
When LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2010 for the Miami Heat, it was one of the most controversial and discussed topics of all time in the NBA — and was the birth of the famous phrase, “I’m taking my talents to South Beach.”
In a pre-emptive (yet failed) attempt to stop James from leaving Cleveland, the city’s top C and D List celebrities rallied to put together the cheesiest (worst?) song of all time:
With Cooper Sharp oozing everywhere out of that thing, it got me thinking what it might look like if we here at BFW put together something for Bayern Munich center-back Dayot Upamecano. Let’s do this…and make the absolute cheesiest BFW version of that Cleveland-based mess:
[Verse 1]
Tom Adams (air drumming like he’s Phil Collins for no good reason):
There comes a time, when a decision must be made
Fleetwell:
Will Dayot move on or will he stay?
RIPLT:
We’ve been really patient, but this is dragging on
Dylan:
It’s true, we need to make plans if you want to be gone
[Chorus]
RLD:
What’s up, Dayot?
We kind of need you
Dasher:
Bayern offered a big raise
And a signing bonus, too
[Verse 2]
Zippy:
It’s a choice you’re making
Will you stay or will you go?
Muller_Era:
It’s getting kind of old
Just make up your mind, bro
[Bridge]
Rune King Thor:
Just tell us Dayot, what’s wrong with Bayern’s deal?
You’re making the exit clause way too big of an ordeal
Ineednoname:
Madrid is overcrowded; those people are unbearable
And don’t forget: Barca, Liverpool, and Chelsea are terrible
[Chorus]
Mole51:
What’s up, Dayot?
We kind of need you
The 27’s:
No bigger crowd of dopes
Is gonna let you slide as much as we do
[Post-Chorus]
Alberto:
It’s a choice you’re making
Come on spill the damn tea
Frank Mo:
We need an answer soon
Or we’ve got to go and court Schlotti
[Chorus]
PfatiDi:
What’s up, Dayot?
Your demands are brazen
Markopolo:
It could be worse
You could play for Werder Bremen
[Post-Chorus]
Jack Laushway:
It’s a choice you’re making
Even if your agent is a clown
Logan Chugg:
This situation stinks
And it’s dragging us all down
[Chorus]
Jodell_Deisler:
What’s up, Dayot?
You’ve got a bonus and a raise
Flipish:
And now we’ve reach the point
Where this is lame
[Post-Chorus]
Michael Scott:
It’s a choice you’re making
This has taken way too long
Schnitzel:
If you think somewhere else is better
Then you’re dead wrong
(Author’s Note: This is the most intentionally stupid post I have ever written and I could not laugh more at the thought of the BFW community getting together to record an insanely cringy video to convince Upamecano to stay. It would be a sight to behold!)
Category: General Sports
